Selfless Surrender

I think one sign of a mature Christian is not reacting when an offense has been made. Offenses come in all shapes, sizes and forms. Small offenses can range from someone cutting you off in traffic or stepping in front of you in line at the store. It could be when your child speaks disrespectfully to you or disregards your advice. Other offenses could be when a co-worker puts you down to elevate themselves or when your boss overlooks the extra effort you put into a particular project. Bigger, more complicated offenses, could be when a spouse has been found unfaithful or when a parent or family member has been abusive.

Having a heart that isn’t easily offended means that when others don’t treat you with respect and listen to what you say, you still express love and kindness. It’s a place where you die to your selfish desires to want to be right and justified, but instead you love with compassion, understanding and humility. It’s a place where it doesn’t matter if others have wronged you or spoke evil of you.

Being able to pray for those who mistreat you is a sign of a mature Christian because it takes the focus off of your hurt and puts the focus on another person all the while knowing and trusting that your Heavenly Father will take care of everything for you… in His timing and in His way.

Being able to love those who have rejected you shows an internal strength that can only come by living a submitted life to Christ.

Having a broken heart is often a wonderful thing to experience because it presents itself as an opportunity to really look deep within yourself to find out just how much you have the ability to reach out and understand others through the eyes of compassion. When people mistreat you, it allows you to be in a place where you can understand how it feels for another person to be mistreated; it gives you empathy. A broken heart opens the door for a person to gain a greater love for those around them, but all too often, brokenness causes people to turn either inward or to become bitter. Sometimes people turn so inward that they seclude themselves from the rest of the world and hold their gifts and talents to themselves so closely that no one no longer receives any benefit from them. It’s sad, but it happens. Some who have not chosen to completely close themselves off from being hurt again, and who have allowed the hurt to mold itself around their heart, grow vines with bitter grapes. Then when someone comes in contact with them, they receive sour fruit from their lips or actions.

I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race, the people of Israel. Romans 9:2-4a | NIV84

Paul was probably (outside of Christ), one of the most offended men in the Bible. He was hated by both Gentiles and Jews. Yet, all of those offenses never caused Paul to become bitter or to close himself off from the world. He stayed the course and allowed Love to fill him beyond his own selfish desires. He was rejected, cursed and even had his closest friends forsake him, yet he never… NEVER… gave up because he loved God more than anything and that love couldn’t be contained, so Paul continued to give it away. He gave it away for the sake of others so that they could grow and benefit from the wisdom God had given him.

You see, it isn’t about who has hurt you or even how many times a person has sinned against you.  You must remember that you haven’t been called to the Light to keep the light hidden under a bowl, but rather, to lift that bowl and let that Light shine through your life and the demonstration of that Light is love through your actions.

What makes early Christians so different from modern day Christians? One thing for sure, the early believers truly gave up everything to follow Jesus. They forsook homes, jobs and even their families. Now I understand, as an American Christian, such circumstances are not present in our daily lives and most, if not all of us have kept our families and jobs while following Jesus. However, what can be the same between us and our brothers and sisters of old is that we can have the same self-sacrificing love they so beautifully demonstrated. It is the art of self-denial… or not being so offended.

The society in which we live is self-induced. Everywhere one looks, everything is all about glorifying oneself in one way or another. The world we live in is very self-centered and when our personal space gets invaded or if someone else takes the lime light, often we get offended. No one wants to stand in the shadow, everyone has a voice and wants to be heard. Everyone loves to share their perspective on just about everything, including the Bible, God and so forth. It seems anymore, no one is there to listen, to care, to nurture, to love or to serve. Yet, Jesus lived His entire life to serve and so did Paul, along with all of the other disciples. They loved others because they truly loved God and most importantly, they allowed God to soften their heart by way of becoming selfless. They had a much greater understanding of what the purpose of being a Christian is all about.

When someone has offended you, how do you respond? Do you feel sadness in your heart for them? Do you grieve for their lack of understanding and love? A mature Christian can absorb quite a bit of disappointment and still continue on in love. Faith is paramount and the demonstration that one has faith is love that’s expressed through your actions. So when your spouse ignores your needs, says things that hurt or doesn’t uphold their end of the bargain, what will you do? When your child doesn’t heed your instruction or show appreciation for the things you do for them, what will you do? When your co-worker puts you under the bus to make themselves look good, what will you do? When people reject you because of what you believe, what will you do?

Will you love them in the face of rejection, pain and loneliness? Will you love them above your own pride and desires? Will you love them because God lives in you and you can’t help but to feel sorrow in your heart for how lost they are? Will you stand in the gap for those who come against you and love them with the love of Jesus Christ? Will you allow God to give you an unoffendable heart?

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:9-21 (NIV)